The Faith Racket
Why We Stay Stuck in What We No Longer Believe
There’s a quiet pain that builds over time when you stay in something that no longer feels true. It might be a belief, a role, or a church — eventually, the dissonance becomes unbearable.
We stay because we don’t know how to leave without losing ourselves.
So, we show up.
We smile.
We serve.
We say the things we’re supposed to say.
Beneath the surface, something inside us begins to die.
Resentment simmers, and eventually, the whole thing collapses under its own weight.
I know that place. I’ve been there more than once.
Some days, I still catch myself falling into that loop.
And when I do, it’s usually because something I built—a way of coping, a way of existing—has stopped working.
That way of being?
It’s what The Three Laws of Performance calls a Racket.
When the Racket Stops Working
A racket is a pattern. It is a fixed way of being, often supported by a persistent complaint. The racket delivers a hidden payoff, something that makes it feel like a beneficial trade, but it also comes with a cost. That cost, at least for me, is often something I don’t see right away, but it is where most of the angst lives.
And this is exactly why we have to examine the rackets in our lives.
To illustrate how this plays out, let’s start with what is most obvious, a complaint:
Imagine a scenario where I am angry and frustrated that I can’t get any time away from volunteering at church. I feel burnt out, unsupported, under appreciated, and exhausted. While hammering through my angst, I continually find myself wrestling with this complaint:
Example Complaint: Everyone relies on me, and no one supports me.
Resulting Behavior: Over-functioning, self-sufficient, quietly resentful.
Most of us stop there. I certainly have before in my journey. That quiet resentment eventually becomes loud and impossible to ignore. It demands attention. But where do we start?
Clearly, there is more going on here than what’s on the surface. So, I have to ask myself: What is the underlying belief behind this? In other words, what belief do I have to subscribe-to in order for this to feel true?
Underlying Belief: I always have to be the spiritually strong one, and I am not allowed the luxury of faltering.
This is where the work begins.
To truly examine this belief, we first need to acknowledge that the racket has worked for us. In some cases, it may have worked for our entire lives. So if it has worked, what is the payoff? What do we get out of accepting this belief as true?
Many times, the payoff reveals things about ourselves that we don’t choose to even see, much less show to other people. Because of this, it is important to examine the payoff honestly but without judgment.
Payoff: I get to appear like I have it all together. I feel important, valuable, and irreplaceable. Those feelings satisfy my need for self-worth.
Now we’re getting somewhere.
Wouldn’t it be nice to stop there? I mean, hey, we’re being honest and reflective. Maybe even vulnerable.
But if the racket is failing, if the trade has stopped serving us, we have to examine the cost.
Cost: I am no longer learning. I am stuck and not growing. I feel unseen, unsupported, and disconnected from the people around me, and from God.
Ouch. Those are some pretty big costs.
The truth is, rackets aren’t always loud. They don’t always scream at us. And because we’ve been operating with them for so long, we have to look deeply to even find them.
Occasionally, the imbalance becomes unbearable and something breaks. Something breaks hard enough to force us to shine a light into the black box and question what’s really going on.
This is deconstruction.
Deconstruction begins when our rackets stop working.
It begins when the cost outweighs the payoff, and the pain of the status quo becomes unbearable.
When the Cost Becomes Too High
When we reach that point, something opens up.
But here’s the hard part.
We often try to fix things by rearranging the surface. We look for new churches, new communities, new friends, new words, new teachers, and new ways to make the old patterns work.
But if we don’t deal with the underlying belief, we just build the same system over and over again and keep getting the same result.
We may dress it up differently. We may even call it “healing” or “rebuilding.” But really, it’s the same old racket with a new pair of shoes.
This is why naming the underlying belief matters. Not just the complaint. Not just the behavior. But the story underneath it all—the one we’ve been carrying around like it’s gospel truth.
“I have to be the strong one.”
“If I don’t hold it all together, everything will fall apart.”
“I’m only valuable if I’m useful.”
“People only love me when I give them something.”
These aren’t just beliefs. They are operating systems. They run in the background that color every emotional transaction. Because of this, they will run our lives until we choose to rewrite them.
That’s the invitation in front of us. Not to burn everything down in anger. Not to fake our way through it with spiritualized language. But to slow down, pay attention, and tell the truth.
It begins by asking simple questions with the courage to wait for real answers:
What racket have I been living inside?
What belief have I been trying to protect?
What is it costing me to hold on to it?
If you're in the beginning of that process right now, I want you to hear this clearly: you are not messed up; You are becoming aware.
Awareness is where all transformation begins.
The best part is this: it’s also not the end of faith. In my journey, this process has always, without fail, led me into a more authentic and rewarding relationship with myself, with others, and certainly with God.
Be encouraged. Be very encouraged.
There is more for you ahead.
Rewrite the Story
Once we’ve named the old belief and the cost of holding onto it, we’re left with a much more important question:
Is the payoff worth the cost?
If we decide that it is, then we’re done here. There isn’t much that can be changed without a desire for change.
But if the answer is no, then we get to ask an even bigger question:
What do I want to believe instead?
This isn’t about wishful thinking or baseless affirmations. It’s about deliberately forming a new belief that is both life-giving and true. It should be grounded in experience and evidence, and built on the premise that it frees us to live from love instead of fear.
I struggle with this myself sometimes. One helpful exercise I have used is to imagine what I would say to my best friend if they were in my shoes. That often helps separate from our own harsh inner voice and get closer to the truth of what it means to love.
Using that exercise,
“I always have to be the strong one,”
becomes:
“It’s okay to be human, and it’s okay to struggle. Your vulnerability and true self are more valued than any performance or outcome.”
This is the work of reconstruction.
Not just tearing down what isn’t working, but choosing something better to build in its place.
What About You?
If this struck a chord, try taking a few quiet minutes this week and walk through the process yourself.
Start with a complaint—the one that keeps showing up in your thoughts or conversations. Write it down.
Then ask yourself:
What behavior or response usually follows this complaint?
What belief must I be holding for this to feel true?
What do I get out of it? (Be honest.)
What is it costing me?
What belief do I want to hold instead?
Let it be life-giving. Let it reflect something that brings peace, freedom, and connection—like the belief that it’s okay to be human and to struggle. Let it be true. Let it be as loving as you would make it for your best friend.
This doesn’t need to be perfect. You don’t have to figure it all out in one sitting. Just start paying attention. That’s where everything begins to shift. I have built a completely free worksheet to go through this by yourself, it is free over on Impossible Path. Just click courses, and then download the Faith Rackets worksheet.
Want to Go Deeper Together?
I’ve found this process to be even more powerful when it’s done in community—with someone to walk alongside and help you see what’s hard to name on your own.
We're hosting a few completely free one-hour sessions where we’ll walk through this process together over on the new Impossible Path community. These will be small group conversations over Zoom, and during the hour, we’ll guide as many volunteers as we can through identifying their rackets, naming the beliefs underneath, and rewriting the story in a way that brings freedom.
Come expecting clarity, awareness, and maybe even breakthrough.
If you’re in a season of deconstruction, if you feel stuck in patterns that no longer serve you, or if you just need space to reflect with others who get it, you’re invited.
No pressure. No weirdness. Just a safe, honest space to dig deeper.
Interested—or even just curious—jump over to the Impossible Path and join one of the free sessions. I’d love to have you.
Let’s keep going.
The Final Word: This Is Where Reconstruction Begins
It’s not in pretending we have the answers.
It’s in telling the truth about where we are and what we’ve been doing to stay safe that isn’t working for us anymore.
Rackets lose power when they’re named.
And when they lose power, the impossible becomes possible.
Real transformation doesn’t come from performing harder.
It starts when we take the mask off and live from truth instead of fear.
That’s the journey I’m on.
And if you’re here, maybe you are too.
So let’s keep going.
-Scott
If this resonated, share it with someone who's been quietly questioning. Or leave a comment (or even hit reply, I read every message) and let me know what part of this spoke to you. I'd love to hear your thoughts.