For years I thought success meant arrival.
Eventually I’d get there—wherever there was—and I could finally exhale. Mission accomplished. Hey... cake for everyone.
But I had it all wrong, and it cost me.
Take food, for example. I would diet to lose weight so I could finally get to my goal—and then go back to eating whatever I wanted again.
Big shocker, I never really hit the goal. I would just gain it all back.
Yo-yo dieting, anyone?
Then I joined the gym to 'get fit'—figuring I’d hit the weights for a few weeks, unlock Brad Pitt’s Fight Club body, and coast from there.
Another shocker: that didn't work. The gym was hard, and progress was slow.
So I would quit.
Until I got sick of being out of shape again.
Then I would sign back up.
Has anyone else collected gym memberships without showing up?
Then, a few years later, I got married.
I thought that was the finish line.
Find the woman of my dreams. Put a ring on it. Ride off into the sunset. All the hard work behind us...
(We can all roll our eyes together on that one.)
The work was just getting started.
It took me way too long to realize this:
The arrival was never the point.
The destination was always a myth.
Eating healthy?
It’s not about a number on a scale.
It’s about momentum—the daily choice to treat your body like it matters. The joy of feeling stronger, clearer, more alive. It’s not something you “arrive” at. It’s something you keep choosing.
Going to the gym?
Same thing.
It’s not about chasing an aesthetic. It’s about showing up and pushing your body to uncomfortable places—so you can get the most out of life. It’s about stacking little wins. Building motion. Staying in motion.
And marriage?
It’s not the wedding. It’s not the rings. It’s not the sunset.
It’s the grit of choosing each other again, and again, and again.
It’s learning to fight for resolution instead of being right.
It’s vulnerability, honesty, growth—and yes, sometimes pain.
But the fruit of it?
A connection worth fighting for.
A relationship that moves with you,
that grows with you,
that makes you better—together.
So yeah.
Here’s the real confession:
I failed for years because I thought success was a destination.
But it’s not.
Success is motion.
It’s choosing to move.
To grow.
To show up.
Even when it’s messy.
Especially when it’s messy.
Success isn’t where you land.
It’s how you keep going.
So stop aiming to arrive. Just move.
Been there? Living it now? Hit reply or drop a comment—I’d love to hear what finish line you’re finally ready to burn.
Love this! A couple of years ago I started reframing my goal setting, based on some readings and trainings I was immersed in at the time. So many “experts” in productivity and goal accomplishment stick with the SMART goal format and think we need a deadline to arrive at the goal, we need metrics to know we’ve met the goal, blah, blah blah! So it always felt like the arrival was the goal. And I rarely hit those goals and if I did, it didn’t feel like winning. I felt like I cheated because I did “whatever it takes” to hit the number by the deadline. It didn’t feel authentic, there was little connection of “my WHY” of the goal and my actual contentment. So when I switched to more of a how do I want to live and feel and be in my life kind of thing, my goals became more me and more about the process. There’s no deadline, there’s no sharing on LinkedIn, no certificate, but it’s been a hell of a lot better and I’m actually creating a life I love and making more progress and not beating myself up constantly for missing some arbitrary deadline for some public accomplishment I had a hard time convincing myself was really what I wanted.
You’ve described it exactly, Scott. Great piece. 🥰